Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Alone

The man in the house has been gone for about 2 months.  In the beginning I was working.  I was so busy it was a  breath of fresh air to come to the surface and have a little solace.  I love, love the summer, but this summer is stretched out before me.  L left today and is staying 3 nights with her dad.  They took the dog, because it makes L feel better.  It is the first holiday in 8 years I will be without her.  I didn't buy a cute fourth of July outfit and make plans to take pictures and hug her through the big booms.  I immediately texted every person I know and tried to fill the space where she usually is.  I filled each day with something, but tonight I am alone.  I filled my home with music and am eating Brussels sprouts.  Something in my home  that is largely frowned upon.  I'll watch a movie without interruption. I'll read my book.  Perhaps I'll fix the half ass painting job that was done so many months ago.  I will be fine and tomorrow I will not be alone.  For today though sharing my girl sucks.

1 comment:

Leah Maya Benjamin said...

The whole thing sucks and I am so sorry. YOu should have the family that your wanted and Lilly should have the family as well. We got to a breaking point in our marriage right after I finally got home with Maya, luckily it has worked out. The thought of having to share my child and not have control is very very scary, I know most families out there do it somehow. Take care.