Waiting........

The last time I got pregnant I was on birth control.  I was not exactly stellar at taking it I forgot A LOT.  So I expected to just get pregnant now that I'm not taking anything at all.  Of course that isn't happening.  I know I know its only been 3 months but last month would have been the perfect month.  It would have meant the baby was born in May and I could take the last month off of work and then be home with the baby.  Now that window of perfection has passed.  Sooooo here's my dilemma.  The doctor has offered to give me chlomid to increase my chances.  I told her no because I haven't had any trouble getting sperm to egg before.  Now I wondering if I should go that route.  The problem is that chlomid thins the lining of my uterus which in essence would cause a miscarriage.  So she says that that is a fixable problem and that we would just have to find the right combination of hormones to stop that from happening.  My insurance does not cover chlomid and it has a $500 deductible to boot.  So it's not exactly cost effective and I don't want to put myself in debt if it isn't necessary.  So we wait......

I wanted to address the issue of my current dr.  I do not in any way think that the loss of Lucy is her fault.  There was nothing, and I am sure of this, nothing she could have done.  She should not have told me not to worry but that was her one and only mistake.  I am only willing to do this in a cost effective way.  I could seek out the best fertility specialists in the area and get there take.  But I've already done that  and I came up with a big fat nothing.  So I know many woman who have carried babies to term after having several miscarriages.  I am merely hoping 5th times a charm and I get to be one of those women.  I think it is worth a try as I near my 40th birthday to not always wonder.  I love my dr and can think of no one else I'd like to help me in this journey.