Men are stupid.
The end.
Tuesday, December 29, 2015
Saturday, December 19, 2015
Dating Chronicles
I am in dating purgatory, seriously I am not even kinda kidding. I've decided that it just must be remembered and shared because someday I am going to be in a different place (dear lord let that be true!) and not remember these stories and they are GOOD!! First off let me state that I have met 2 very nice men. Both of them have served the purpose of showing me that nice men do exist, they just haven't been the right men for me. The fact that I can even recognize that is a step in the correct direction. Loneliness does not win over making good correct decisions for L and I. These two men will not be my topic for discussion. Only the crazy stories here for your reading pleasure. All stories thanks to match.com :0)
1) man messaged me asking for a date but had no car or licence. Not sure if he wanted a chauffeur or a date I didn't stop to check.
2) Man and I messaged for a bit. His messages were grammatically off at times. Man told me he'd just moved here from Mexico and was using google translator to converse with me. Ummm, no thank you.
3) Went on an actual date with a devastatingly handsome man. Tall dark handsome type. Told me in the middle of our date that he had been fired from his position as high school drama teacher for sexting with a student. Holy crap on a cracker!!!! I googled this darling, his student was 14 at the time. Can't make this shit up I tell you.
4) Texted a police officer for a week straight. He was funny, attentive, and I was excited. He wanted to go to dinner, I suggested drinks, he insisted upon dinner. We were seated in a table that was a booth. He sat right next to me on my side of the booth and cuddled up real close. THIS..... WAS .....OUR ....FIRST....DATE! I was very polite and let this happen. I ordered fish tacos. He kissed me in the middle of the restaurant in the middle of my plate of fish tacos. (It's every girls dream to remember her first kiss that way) I continued to be polite. He asked me what I thought of having 3 kids. (I assume he meant me parenting his three and not me having 3) Then told me he'd like me to be his girlfriend. OMG!!! Somehow I continued to be polite. Next he wanted to walk around I politely told him it was time for me to go. He walked me to my car. Then before kissing me goodnight. (We all know how bad I wanted that to happen) he pulled up his pants took a few steps, like he was getting ready to mount a horse or something. Took a nice big breath and leaned in for a goodnight kiss. Good lord put me out of my misery right this minute. I may or may not have jumped in my car and sped away from that man as fast as my little Honda would take me.
Have another date lined up for Monday. If nothing else it will leave me with a good story. The way I approach this dating phenomena AKA internet dating is that it is entertainment. I have two days a week without Lily and when I'm not spending those two days running errands or being entertained by my girlfriends I mine as well be meeting new people. IT DOES NOT DISAPPOINT IT IS NOTHING SHORT OF ENTERTAINING!!!!!
1) man messaged me asking for a date but had no car or licence. Not sure if he wanted a chauffeur or a date I didn't stop to check.
2) Man and I messaged for a bit. His messages were grammatically off at times. Man told me he'd just moved here from Mexico and was using google translator to converse with me. Ummm, no thank you.
3) Went on an actual date with a devastatingly handsome man. Tall dark handsome type. Told me in the middle of our date that he had been fired from his position as high school drama teacher for sexting with a student. Holy crap on a cracker!!!! I googled this darling, his student was 14 at the time. Can't make this shit up I tell you.
4) Texted a police officer for a week straight. He was funny, attentive, and I was excited. He wanted to go to dinner, I suggested drinks, he insisted upon dinner. We were seated in a table that was a booth. He sat right next to me on my side of the booth and cuddled up real close. THIS..... WAS .....OUR ....FIRST....DATE! I was very polite and let this happen. I ordered fish tacos. He kissed me in the middle of the restaurant in the middle of my plate of fish tacos. (It's every girls dream to remember her first kiss that way) I continued to be polite. He asked me what I thought of having 3 kids. (I assume he meant me parenting his three and not me having 3) Then told me he'd like me to be his girlfriend. OMG!!! Somehow I continued to be polite. Next he wanted to walk around I politely told him it was time for me to go. He walked me to my car. Then before kissing me goodnight. (We all know how bad I wanted that to happen) he pulled up his pants took a few steps, like he was getting ready to mount a horse or something. Took a nice big breath and leaned in for a goodnight kiss. Good lord put me out of my misery right this minute. I may or may not have jumped in my car and sped away from that man as fast as my little Honda would take me.
Have another date lined up for Monday. If nothing else it will leave me with a good story. The way I approach this dating phenomena AKA internet dating is that it is entertainment. I have two days a week without Lily and when I'm not spending those two days running errands or being entertained by my girlfriends I mine as well be meeting new people. IT DOES NOT DISAPPOINT IT IS NOTHING SHORT OF ENTERTAINING!!!!!
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