To open or to close

I don't really know if I want this blog to be open to readers or closed. In one sense I think perhaps leaving it open may give me insight on how to heal. I know others have traveled this path or journey I'm on and have come out the other side. I need their stories I need support but on the other hand this is very raw and do I really want my friends and family to see raw I don't know. Do I want people to know that in the dark hours of the night I am not as okay as I appear. So for now I am baring my soul for all to see. I have chosen to do it in a place that is not intertwined in my daughters life. Maybe along the way I'll help someone else whom is dealing with a similiar situation. Hopefully along the way I feel healing. Which I know will come with time. I have not deleted a single email I recieved during the days after my loss of Lucy. I have every ultrasound picture tucked away in the office. Its as if deleting the emails and tossing the pictures will make her less real. I am not ready to letgo yet. This blog is to help me let go.