perspective and some sleep

L woke up on Friday morning and felt much better.  She was able to stay with her dad and have a good time.  I am happy for her.  I was also able to have a good time.  The river is my spot.  It's beauty and refreshing properties have always been my recharging place.  It flows downstream with it's constant rebirth of water.  Each second it is on refresh.  I am on refresh at the moment.  I went to the river with my bestie.  She has been my lifeline throughout this entire experience.  She also has been burned and knows what I am going through.  She was able to deal with custody of their son with class and she is my roll model.  I am so very, very thankful for her.   So we went to the river with 6 people and me.  3 couples and I.  I had a few minutes that I felt sad for my uncoupled status.  I felt myself going down that woe is me path especially with the previous nights events.  Then I thought about my last 2 fourth of July's.  Yes they were with my girl, but I was not with a partner.  In fact most of my married life I did these functions on my own. That was because of my ex's work schedule and not his affliction, on the rare occasion that we went together I was either embarrassed by the end and trying to get us to leave or uncomfortable because alcohol was around and it was awkward.  He felt awkward and made me feel awkward.   So I shrugged it off and enjoyed the rest of my day.  I let the river do it's job of refreshing.  Now L is here for two weeks without sharing cause her dad is on vacation and we shall do some refreshing river time together.  I shall enjoy my time without maneuvering the custody stuff.  Hey maybe he will just move to Oregon.  Just kidding, sort of...........